Bach Flowers “It’s Not Fair!

“It’s not fair”!   It’s not only children to say this.  It’s one of the most common complaints I hear.  The Bach Flower Remedy Willow, is the remedy that will help these feelings of being treated unfairly.

We all know people who moan and complain that life or fate have has given them a rotten deal and how they’ve been treated unfairly at work, in their relationships and friendships!  We all know people who don’t take responsibility for their lives and expect others to produce the ‘goods’ for them.

(And I’m hesitant to say this – but – you go there sometimes too!)

How do I know this?  Apart from all the  hundreds who have had consultations with me, it’s because I catch myself  going there sometimes too.  We were programmed to believe that life just happens to us and it’s not fair.

And it’s difficult to change the belief that others do things to us because its so much part of the beliefs of society.  However, it can be changed and its much easier to change it with Bach Flowers!

Beverley (50+ and married) came to see me. She was fed up with her husband and the marriage.  Her husband had a successful and fulfilling life.  He loved his job and he play golf at the weekend with friends.   Life for her husband was good.

She spent some considerable time moaning and complaining about him.  “It’s not fair” she said.  “Fate has definitely handed me the short straw”.  Their only daughter had left home a year ago and now she was home alone, day after day.   ‘Poor-me’ saturated everything she said.    (Beech would help her stop criticising her husband and generally be more tolerant.  (Click here for information on Beech.)

Beverley was bitter and resentful. And somehow, she felt betrayed.  Life had not delivered the ‘peaches-and-cream’ marriage she’d signed up for!   Life and her husband had certainly let her down.

When I asked about her friends, she continued her ‘I’m hard-done-by’ story.  She’s left ‘left-out’ by her friends.  They all had busy and fulfilling lives too.  Life had handed them all the rosy things in life.  The bitterness in her voice couldn’t be disguised.  She begrudged them what she called their ‘good fortune’.   She was spiteful and sarcastic about her previous friends and their happy life.

“It’s not fair! Why didn’t life hand ME all the good things on a plate?”  she asked me.   

Willow is for those who believe they’re been treated unfairly and are angry about it – but feel they can’t do anything about it.

People in the Willow state don’t take responsibility for their lives.  They expect life to give them all her gifts without putting anything into life.  They expect people to help them as a matter of course, but don’t give anything back in return.

Willow focuses on the negative and can be called a ‘wet-blanket’ or a ‘spoil-sport’.

I knew that nothing I or anyone, could say or do would change Beverley’s attitude to life.  And I also knew that the Bach Flower  Essence Willow would work its magic and turn her “it’s not me – its them” story around and that she’d begin to enjoy life again.

Willow is not a commonly used remedy and yet the Willow-state of mind is so prevalent in today’s society.  So many people don’t accept the responsibility for their lives,  expecting others to give them all the good things in life.

There are 38 remedies. One for every negative emotion we have.  Rescue Remedy is brilliant, when its indicated. However, there are times when you need other remedies (like Willow) to help heal and soothe yourself and your family.  Click here to find out more about how you can learn about the remedies.

Over to you.
As always I love to hear from you.  So please leave your comments in the Comment Box below.  I do read and answer all the comments personally, so please drop me a line.


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Rose Todd

  • Rajeswari says:

    It is very interesting to know about Willow. I only know that Willow type people blame others even for their faults.👍

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Rajeswari. Thank you for leaving your comment. I agree, those in a Willow state don’t take responsibility fo their own lives, and so they blame everyone else for ‘doing things’ to them!.
      Take care and glad you visited the blog page. Rose.

  • Krishna says:

    aah yes willow – the thing we identify in others very easily but not in myself – does this mean I need it?

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Krishna. Thank you for leaving a comment. Did you recognise the Willow state in yourself? Do you believe you’ve been treated unfairly? Are you resentful?
      If so, then it does sound as if Willow would help you.
      However, if none of these apply, then, no you don’t need Willow, but perhaps someone in your life does? Warm wishes. Rose

  • Krishna says:

    also true is that some people make it a habbit to complain
    another thing is that people see it as if if they dont complain that their life is too easy and that complaining makes them seem important and hard working

    • Rose Todd says:

      Thanks Krishna. Its amazing that we all see the same world in different ways, isn;t it.
      But if/when we do feel as if we’re being treated unfairly, the Bach Flower Willow, will soon sooth our upset. Rose

  • Krishna says:

    yes the typical

  • Barbara says:

    I’m a little confused, and now I think I went to the wrong remedy. In Wendy’s story, I could really relate to her resentment and the bitterness that you don’t want but get anyway. But I’m this blog, it’s all about self absorbed, over the top “poor me”. Which is it?

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Barbara. Thank you for writing. Willow is the remedy for when we feel we’re not being treated fairly and we become bitter and resentful about the way life or someone particular is treaing us.
      When we feel we’re being mistreated, our thoughts seem to focus on all the things that are wrong for us – hence we become self-absorbed.
      If you’re feeling resentful, but can’t relate to the other parts of the remedy, take Willow, and you will feel better
      I hope this helps. Take care. Warm wishes. Rose

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