Bach Flower Blog I should have done better
Close your eyes and put up your hand if you’re hooked into “Perfectionism”! Does self-blame come easily to you? Do you feel that almost everything you do is wrong?
Don’t worry, no one can see you (they have their eyes closed too – and they have their hand up as well!!)
So you’re not alone!
And Bach Flowers can help you. There are 38 remedies, and it can seem tricky to chose which one suits you best. These FREE guides can help you chose the remedies that suit you best.
Perhaps you’re not sure if you’re a perfectionist or not. Well, first read this to help you decide. And then read on and find out how Bach Flower Remedies can help you deal with your perfectionism.
If you’re a perfectionist, without realising it you’ll set high standards for yourself. You don’t know you’ve done it – because after all they’re the only standards you have. And you hold yourself very strictly to those standards.
The strange thing is that you don’t hold others to such high standards.
I wonder, have you noticed that even when you’ve done something that everyone says is a huge success, you still feel you could have done it better? If you’re a perfectionist, I could have/should have done better is a very common feeling for you.
Limitations not potential
You know what I mean. You might be pleased with what you’ve done, but when you start to think about it, you pick on small things that you imagine you’ve done wrong: things that others didn’t even see.
When you feel you haven’t done something ‘perfectly’, do you get that uneasy feeling of ‘I’ve done something wrong’ (even though you haven’t? Or perhaps, no matter how successful you been, you feel you could have done better. Have you noticed that you’re inclined to focus on what is wrong and not what went well?
Being a perfectionist limits and restrict your life. It’s as if you’re trying to live life with your hands tied. While you’re focusing on what you haven’t done you can’t see the potential and possibilities that are also there – just waiting for you recognise them.
“I could have/should have done better
Mary was a busy lady, juggling lots different parts of her life. But there was one thing that was always in the forefront of her mind for most of the day.
Her father had died a year ago but she still missed him terribly. She’d got used to the fact that he was now gone, but the real trouble was that she felt guilty that she wasn’t actually with him when he died.
(And here comes the ‘perfectionist’ attitude …. ) She felt she should have done more for him. “I feel so ashamed. I deeply regret I didn’t do more. There was so much more I could have done”.
There really wasn’t any more she could have done, but self-blame came easily and quickly to her. She always felt guilty when she wasn’t there with him. She said “I’m quite a ‘guilty” person. I know I should have done more”.
Pine helped Mary’s feelings that she need to do more, do
everything perfectly and gave her the space to grieve for her father without the limitations that her self-blame and guilt placed upon her.
If your need for perfectionism come from the feeling you’ve got to do more or got to do it better, then Pine will help you too.
If you have feelings of guilt, remorse and regret, then Pine will heal and soothe these feelings and give you the opportunity to see your potential and you’ll be able to take advantage of the possibilities that come into your life.
Over to you
As always, I love hearing from you, so please leave a comment with your thoughts and comments, and questions too, if you have any.
There great depth to the healing power of the Bach Flower Remedies, click here to get your FREE Bach Flower Guides.
guilt is not the same thing as perfectionism. although they certainly can be related in some cases. perfectionism affects many or most people differently, usually involves procrastination because can’t live up to perfect expectations, not grieving and guilt over a death.
Hello Pamela. Thank you for your comments.
As you mentioned, the need for Perfection comes from many sources and therefore will requite many remedies.
There had been some chatter in my Facebook Group about guilt and Pine, and I wrote the blog specifically to illustrate a little known feeling of PIne: and that you should have done more: was an expression of guilt.
Thank you once again for adding your comments and thoughts. Take care. Rose
Thank you for your comment. I agree that guilt is not the same thing as perfectionism – but it can drive one to seek perfection. Yes, the need to be perfect is different for many people, and therefore will require different remedies. This blog was to illustrate a point that was being discussed in my Facebook group.
Thank yo for taking the time to leave a comment. It was kind of you. Take care. Rose