Bach Flowers Heal Grief and a Broken Heart

Grief and a broken heart, along with anger, I believe, are two of our deepest feelings.  They both seem to go into the depths of our being and tear at our soul.

Both emotions give birth to a whole host of other feelings from despair, being discouraged and disappointment.  Leading to loneliness and lack of self-worth. And of course, it conjures up feelings of “how am I going to manage without him/her?”  

Bach Flower Remedies can help you heal your grief, and sooth other feelings too.  But sometimes its difficult to chose which of the 38 remedies suit you best.  These FREE Bach Flower Guides can help you.  Bach Flower Remedy Guides

This blog is about grief : the pain of a broken heart.   But if anger is raging within you then this blog will help you too.

At sometime in our lives we all suffer from the loss of someone or a pet we love dearly.  I’m afraid its part of being human and no one escapes this feeling.  It happens to us all – more than once I’m afraid.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m  not belittling bereavement or sorrow. I’ve been there and got the T shirt.  In fact, I’ve got lots of these T shirts – just like you – relationships that broke my heart and of course, the loss of my beloved parents.  And how I wish I’d know about the Remedies in those days.

Grief at the loss of a loved one

A bereavement is always a shock, even when you expect it, it’s still a shock.
And then comes the pain.
You feel as if there’s a stone in your stomach and your heart is literary broken – both that the same time.  The feelings of being completely lost and alone are mixed together so you’re unable to distinguish one feeling from another. And the only thought you can muster is “how do I get through today”? 

Without healing, that thought (and similar ones) run through your mind continuously, usually for months.

Where do you go now? What do you do now?  How can you pull your life together?

And what if you were unable to get to the bedside quick enough to say the words you know you should have said long ago.   What then?  Self-blame!  Guilt!  Such awful turmoil – all mixed up with sadness.

Broken relationships

But these feelings are not exclusive to the death of a loved one, many have a broken heart from a broken relationship – a long marriage where one partner thinks all is well and is shocked and broken-hearted when the other wants to leave.

It’s not the length of the relationship that signifies the depth or the pain.  We can fall into the deepest of loves in a matter of minutes (we all know that love-at-first-sight is true!)  The breaking of a relationship brings the same pain and we ask ourselves the same question?  “How am I going to get through today”?

And, in my house, (before I knew about Bach Flower Remedies) we got through the day by making endless tea!

Bach Remedies can heal a broken heart

Here are three remedies that will help heal your grief – even if its from 20 years ago: even if you’ve pushed grief down, it will have become loneliness and depression – these Bach Flower Remedies will see you on the road to recovery.

Sue came to one of my afternoon workshops on the Bach Flower Remedies.  This is Sue’s tale.  Her husband had died ten months earlier and she was not adjusting well at all.  Her family were hugely supportive and very worried.  As well as grieving the lost of the love of her life and her constant companion since mid teens, she was lonely and depressed too.

 Star of Bethlehem is the first remedy you need 

It doesn’t matter how old your grief is, this remedy will help.  It’s also the remedy for shock and trauma as well.

Star of Bethlehem is one of the remedies in Rescue Remedy.   So if you don’t have Star of Bethlehem, take Rescue Remedy,

Gentian

Gentian is needed when you are ‘knocked back’ by an experience. It seems to over simplify and belittle the depth of emotions you may feel, if I say ‘you’ve suffered a set-back’.

You think everything is going well, and then you find out about an affair or your loved one wants to move on. You’re shaken to your core as well as being broken hearted This is a huge set-back for you.

You are bitterly disappointed and become depressed (Gentian is an excellent remedy for depression – if you can remember your ‘set-back’). You’re so discouraged by your experiences that you’re sceptical about life ever getting better. You’d like to get better, but you don’t believe you can.

It’s worthwhile having Gentian in your Bach-kit because it isn’t only for the big disappointments. If your child didn’t do as well as they hoped at school, or wasn’t chosen for the sports team or didn’t receive the phone call or text from the new boyfriend/girlfriend – the Gentian will take away the feelings of disappointment before they festers and go deeper.

“If only I’d …”

Pine will help you when you feel ashamed

If you don’t get to the bedside in time; if you’ve been working so hard for too long that your partner moves out: if you didn’t do enough for your parents – you always meant to visit once a month, but never got around to it, then you’re going to feel guilty about it.  You meant to go and help your mum with the housekeeping and dad with garden – but you never got around to it – and now its too late, And Guilt takes over.  You can push guilt down until it turns into depression.

“If only .. ” runs through your mind constantly.  And you feel awful. You’re ashamed of yourself.  The list of ‘should haves’ and ‘could haves’ run endlessly through your mind as you’re filled with guilt!  And no matter what you try to do: talking yourself out of, going partying, watching junk on the TV – nothing helps.
The Bach Flower Remedy Pine will help you.

These are just three of the 38 Bach Remedies.  Although these three will help you, you could benefit from some of the other remedies too.

Once again, if you’d like to find out more about the Bach Flower Remedies click here now to find which remedy would be best for you.Free Bach Remedy Guides

Over to you.

As always,  I love to hear from you, so please leave your thoughts and comments in the Comment box below.  Thank you.

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Bach Flower Remedy Guides

Rose Todd

  • laura ferguson says:

    This sounds like just what I need. I have Rescue Remedy, but Gentian sounds more helpful to specifically where I am at now. Thanks for the info, Rose!

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Laura.
      Thank you for leaving a comment, but sorry to hear you feel you need Gentian.
      Its probably the Star of Bethlehem in Rescue that’s helping you and doing good work. With the help f Gentian, your healing can be complete.
      It really is a brilliant remedy and I used to take it often! Best wishes Laura.

  • bertina says:

    these days I wake up early in the morning with a feeling of despair, worry and/or guilt( it is all because of me, It’s my fault that this and that happened to other people, I must be a wrong person etc). It takes a while before I am allright again and the mornings start a bit low-spirited. Would you recommend gentiaan?

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Bertina
      Thank you for your comment. I’m always pleased to hear from you.
      I’m sorry that you’re not doing so well.
      I can understand why you feel that Gentian could help you a little – and it might, but its not the remedy you really need.
      Your email talks more about how ‘its all your fault’
      The remedy that will help you the most is Pine.
      Have a read of this. I think Pine will do you a lot of good.
      https://rosetodd.com/bach-flower-remedies/bach-flower-blog-overcoming-perfectionism/

      Best Wishes. Rose

  • bertina says:

    thank you! I’m better now. I immediately added pine to my mixture!
    But then still the question: what if they are right?

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Betina. Thank you for writing and I’m glad that Pine has made some difference to you.
      But, still there is a nagging doubt “what if they’re right (and I’m wrong?”
      Stay on Pine and add Larch for self confidence.
      Put 2 drops each into a glass of water and sip it frequently (about every 10 or 20 minutes – take a small sip). Frequency is the key – not quantity.
      I’m sure that’ll make a big difference to you.
      Here’s the link to the Blog on Larch
      https://rosetodd.com/blog/are-you-as-confident-as-you-want-to-be/
      You might find it helpful>
      Hope you feel better soon.
      Warm wishes. Rose

  • bertina says:

    I took pine + larch and indeed it makes a big difference. I’m still taking the mixture.
    It makes me feel better, calmer.
    I still have a knot in my stomach though
    and last night I’ve been dreaming (again) about snakes.
    Thank you for your help.

  • Rose Todd says:

    Hello again Betina.
    I forgot to give you this link.
    https://rosetodd.com/bach-flower-remedies/bach-blog-power-yellow/
    This blog might help you too.
    Rose

  • Dee says:

    Hello Rose,
    Thank you for your blog on grief. Earlier this year my Mum passed away and I am feeling a lot of the emotions mentioned in your blog, especially the feelings that I let her down and did not do enough because I found her illness difficult to cope with. I was not given the chance to be with her when she died and this is also something that has been hard to come to terms with. Reading your blog this morning has helped me to understand why I keep feeling as I do. I have started taking the Rescue Remedy as that is the only Bach remedy I have at the moment.

    • Rose Todd says:

      Dear Dee. Thank you for writing. I’m glad the blog helped you. I do understand some of what goes on when we loose one our parents. It’s hard enough coping with the grief, let alone trying to process their illness too. How I wish I’d known about the Bach Remedies when my mum died.
      Rescue Remedy will help you deal with the shock and grief. Add Pine too when you have the opportunity. Warm wishes. Rose.

  • Kathy says:

    Hello Rose
    This blog is very apt as family member is suffering and so good to have your valuable guidance.

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Kathy. I’m glad the blog helped. I know the remedies will do good work and I hope your loved one feels better soon. Warm wishes. Rose

  • Chintan Chawda says:

    Hello ma’am! My best frnd has recently broken up with her boyfriend. And she’s very depressed and sad, which bach flower remedy i cud give her?

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Chintan. Thank you for leaving a comment on my blog. I’m sorrow to hear your friend is so sad. I give suggestions for remedies to help a broken heart in this blog. The remedy your friend needs is Star of Bethlehem. (Read Sue’s story again. See what a difference the remedy made to Sue)
      https://rosetodd.com/bach-flower-remedies/grief-broken-hearted/
      I hope she feels better very soon. Rose.

      • Chintan Chawda says:

        Tysm ma’am! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ On it

  • Sylvie says:

    Hi, is there a remedy if I’m the one who stopped loving my husband? I want to love him but I feel like it’s gone. There’s nothing wrong and he’s a wonderful person, I wish I could love him again.
    Thank you.

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Sylvie. Thank you for your comment. I know you want me to just tell you which remedy to take, but I am first and foremost a ‘teacher’. So I would far rather help you find out which remedy you need, than just tell you.
      Bach said that we treat the person and not the disease (or situation). So – you’ve told me the situation and how you feel is ‘implied’ in your story – but you’ve not told me how you feel.
      So work out how you feel, and then you can find which remedy will help you through this situation. (Sorry if I’m not being ‘helpful. But I would rather help you help yourself. For if you do so now – you’ll be able to do it next time you have a wobble too! ) Warm wishes. Rose.

  • Jacqui Keatleyam says:

    Hello Rose am looking for a Bach flower remedy for a broken heart with suicidal thoughts – I had read about Hellebore but would appreciate your advise

    • Rose Todd says:

      Dear Jacqui. I’m so glad you left a Comment here. You did leave a Chat on the Website for me, but didn’t leave an email address so I could reply. So, I’m really please to have this opportunity to help.
      The Bach Flower Remedies is a complete emotional healing system. I only work with the Bach healing system, so I’m afraid I don’t know anything about other systems> Hellebore is on in the Bach Flower System, so I know nothing about Hellebore.
      The Bach Flower Remedy that will help you and heal your grief is Star of Bethlehem. It is a brilliant remedy (as they all are when they’re needed). Star of Bethlehem is in Rescue Remedy. So if you have that, you can start taking it straight away.
      The anguish and suicidal thoughts you feel as a result of your grief can be healed with Sweet Chestnut..
      These two remedies alone will do brilliant healing.
      I find this is the most effective way of taking the remedies.
      Put 2 drops of each remedy into a glass of water and sip it frequently throughout the day – and make sure you have some to take to bed in case you wake in the night.
      You might start to feel better almost immediately, and you certainly will begin to feel better in 3 or 4 days.
      If you have any further questions, please get in touch with me at [email protected]
      (I’ve been there. The pain of a broken heart racks your whole body and ruin your life. I know the remedies will help,)
      Much love, dear Jacqui. Much love.

  • Nichola Wheeler says:

    Dear Rose,

    Thank you for sharing this wisdom, your words have given relief to my heart. I shall start taking Gentian as this resonates perfectly with the way I am feeling.

    Blessed be.

    Best wishes

    Nichola

    • Rose Todd says:

      Dear Nicola. Thank you for your kind words. I’m so pleased that the blog has brought you relief. Gentian is a wonderful remedy, as you’ll discover. I hope that the pain in your heart soon heals. If you have any questions, please get in touch. I’m here to help. Take care and stay safe. Rose.

  • Lawrence says:

    Hi Rose

    In a personal experience where feelings of
    shame guilt embarrassment culminated in low self worth ,even after having tried many single and combined Bach Essences including willow, larch,gentian, crabapple and others and still experienced no level of improvement
    I am wondering
    If perhaps in special cases would it be more
    beneficial for some to consume some of the actual Flowers themselves ,the sensory experience of the taste, smell and digestion of the flowers energy, all of which are also vibrational could this be of more benefit.

    Thank you Rose

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Lawrence. Thank you for your comment. But I’m sorry to hear that you’ve not had any success with the remedies.
      You ask if it would be helpful to eat the flowers themselves. No it wouldn’t (apart from how will you get them – they are English wild flowers) – the remedies are ‘energy medicine’. Our emotions are ‘energy’ and the remedies work on the energy of our emotions.
      So no, using the actual flowers some way won’t help you.
      Sometimes, its difficult to choose the remedies we need ourselves.
      The Bach Remedies work, so if you’re not feeling any changes, there are several things involved, either you are not taking the best remedies for your feelings, or you’re not taking them frequently enough, or long enough to be able to make any difference.
      I’ll write to you direct. Hang in there.
      Rose

  • K says:

    Thank you Rose 🌹

    We loooove your blog
    Always verrry interesting informative and ooooh the stories ooooah the stories mammamia beautiful very vivid I can see the colours the light in every picture

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello krishna. Thank you for leaving a comment for the Blog and your kind words.
      I’m pleased you like the blogs and find them helpful and uplifting.
      Take care. Rose.

  • Cheryl Scott says:

    When reading what you had to say rose I felt I could relate to all of the remedies chosen . Thankyou for sharing

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Cheryl. I’m glad you found the blog helpful and that the remedy suggestions could help you.
      I hope you’re feeling much better now. Take care. Rose

  • Sylvia says:

    Dear Rose,
    i find the hardest thing to do is figure out exactly where you ail most. In a complicated case, we have so many different feelings and reactions to many situations that it’s difficult to zero in on exactly what we should be treating in ourselves. Like they say ‘too much information ‘! What would you suggest to untangle our emotions and make us see clearly? Does a remedy come to mind?
    Thank you for your help and participation to our wellbeing,
    Sylvia

    • Rose Todd says:

      Dear Sylvia. Thank you for your thoughts and questions about the Bach Flower Remedies.
      I agree, unravelling our emotions and chosing which emotions need healing is the most difficult part of using Bach Flower Remedies. Particularly when there’s several remedies apparently covering the same emotion.
      I’m afraid I can’t remember, and I don’t have a note on your file as to whether you’re a Bach Practitoner or not.
      But this skill comes from two things knowing and understanding the remedies well and also from experience.
      If you know the remedies well, you see that some remedies have several different feelings. For example Holly has about 7 diufferent feelings that all come from the same cause – anger. (But also you have to look for the cause/source of the anger – different anger – different remedies).
      And so one remedy covers more than one emotion.
      From the story I’m told, I always take the 6 most intense of the client’s emotions and give the remedies for those emotions and feelings.
      Also, there can be smaller stories within the bigger story, that come from the same cause.
      It is tricky – but knowing and undersanding the cause of each remedy state is very helpful – and the more you use the remedies, the easier it is to unravel the emotions to find the ‘key’ issue.
      I know this is not what you wanted to hear, but its the best i can do, I’m afraid.
      I hope there is something here to help. Get back to me if there is something specific you’re looking at. But I suggest you write directly to [email protected].
      Warm wishes Rose

  • Catherine says:

    Thanks Rose, I found this particularly helpful x

    • Rose Todd says:

      Dear Cathrine. I’m glad the blog helped you. Grief is such hard emotion to deal with as it’s filled with so many diffeent feelings, that come and go – sometimes in waves.
      But there is always a Bach Flower Remedy to help us, no matter how we’re feeling.
      I’m pleased the blog has helped you. Thank you for letting me know. Much love. Rose

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Cathrine. I’ve very glad you found the blog helpful. Rose

  • Emms says:

    I found this article very touching.. as I have a similar situation with friends and family. I feel rejected and unloved and not being included in some occasions! I have reoccurring feelings of rejection, abandonment and sadness for a long time, not being able to overcome them. I would appreciate a comment on which flower essence may help!

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Emms. Thank you for leaving a comment. I’m glad you found the blog helpful.
      Bach Flower Remedies deal with emotions, so to be able to help you properly, I would need to know about your feelings. I would normally gather this information in a 1 hour consultation.
      But I’ll see if I can help you a little here.
      Star of Bethlehem is a brilliant remedy for sadness and sorrow. (Star of Bethlehem is in Rescue Remedy).
      Willow is the remedy for feeling you’re not been treated fairly (being rejected and abandoned.)
      I would suggest you take some Larch too, to give you a boost of self-confidence.
      I think these remedies will help you.
      But if you’d like a consulation, you can get in touch via the Consultation tab on my website.
      I’m sure you’ll begin to feel better soon on my suggested remedies. Warm wishes – Rose

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