The Courage and Confidence Mix

Brian was in his 50’s when he came to see me and he had only one problem.  Well, he had more than one problem; he had lots of problems and they all related to lack of courage and lack of self-confidence.

Few people realise the far reaching affects of lack of confidence.  It can bring deep despair and a “depression” that affects every area of life. These days the word “depression” is handed out to almost everyone who has difficulty dealing with some parts of life.

Lack of confidence and courage is like the rotten apple in the barrel.  It only takes one apple to infect the whole barrel.  And lack of courage and confidence is the same – it infects every area of life.

Here’s Brian’s story

Brian had been self-conscious since his early childhood. He can still remember how embarrassed he got when people talked to him. And how he always felt he couldn’t do as well as the other children of his age.  He didn’t mix well with others, so was inclined to kept to himself.

But there’s more and I wonder if you can relate to any of these …

  • You automatically feel inferior to others
  • You admire people who are successful, but don’t believe you’re capable of being successful yourself
  • You expect failure
  • Have used illness as an excuse so you don’t have to tackle something
  • Feel useless and have no feelings of self-worth or self-esteem

If so, your problem is simple –  just like Brian and you’re filled with self-doubt, you lack self- confidence.
So quick and simple to say, and yet the lack of confidence, and having no courage either, has a profound effect and influences every part of your life – just as the rotten apple affects the whole barrel.

Back to Brian

So, as you can imagine, Brian never made much of his career – even though he was quite capable.  He did his work, and never any more.  He’d never take a risks or applied himself for promotion.

Brian sat at the back of the office and plodded along.  He was not prepared to step ‘outside his box’ because he was absolutely convinced he would fail.  He knew what he could do, and he stuck to it.

Do you doubt yourself and lack confidence?  It’s a blunt question I know, particularly as we might not know each other well.  If you do then, relax, I know how you feel – because I’ve been there – more often than I’d care to admit!  And I have a solution for you, so read on.   I’ve suffered with self-doubt and the knock-on effects of self-doubt all my life.

Bach Flower Remedies

There are 38 remedies and it can be quite tricky to choose the remedy that will help you the most.

Bach Flower Remedy Guides

How well I remember trying to work out which remedy I needed when I first started to use the Bach Remedies.  Not only did I find it difficult to identify how I felt but I couldn’t work on which remedy I needed.  I didn’t realise then that we could have more than one feeling at once!  But we do, all the time.  No wonder you find it difficult to identify how you feel.

The Bach Flower Guides can be invaluable to help you chose the remedies to help you and your family.

A nervous breakdown

Brian had never been good at handling the stress of life and some years ago had a nervous breakdown.

How does a  ‘nervous breakdown’ show itself?  For Brian, it showed at first as an extremely severe bout of debilitating ‘flu, which hung about for weeks and actually ran into months.  He was emotionally and physically exhausted.  He just didn’t have the power: the confidence to face the world.

He was severely shaken by his bout of flu and he lost what little confidence he had, and so had not been able to return to work.

During this time Brian felt very alone.  He’d often felt lonely but didn’t have the courage or confidence to meet new people and try new things.  He blamed himself for not doing what he felt he should have done to live a fulfilling life.  He said he felt he was constantly living with an undercurrent of shame and guilt that he hadn’t done more with his life.

Not sleeping well

Brian wasn’t sleeping well either.  He would wake around 3 am with the same anxieties: the same worrying thoughts night after night.  He said it was rather like all his thoughts jumped onto a child’s merry-go-round and played there for hours.   He couldn’t find a solution to any of his problems and night after night he would be awake while his troubles played on the merry-go-round.

Brian was tired – exhausted in fact.  He wanted to feel better and hoped to regain enough confidence to be able to go back to work.   So mixed the following remedies together, especial for Brian’s feelings.

The Courage and Confidence Mix

Larch – for self-confidence
Mimulus – gives courage to face the anxieties of life
Pine – to help heal the shame and guilt he felt for not trying to live a happier and more fulfilling life.
White Chestnut to stop the unresolved thoughts from going around and around.
Olive  to help with fatigue and exhaustion
Gentian as he was very discouraged from the set-back of his illness.

I’m sure you can relate to some of these feelings (if not all of them) and you can see how these remedies all work together beautifully to strengthen and give courage and confidence.

if you’re not sure to take the Remedies,  click here for the most effective way to take Bach Flower Remedies.

If you’re lack of confidence has gone so deep that its turned into depression, perhaps this article will help you.

Over to you  

As always, I love to hear from you, so please leave your comments in the Comment Box below the blog – and of course ask your questions too.  I look forward to hearing from you.

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Bach Flower Remedy Guides

Rose Todd

  • Maria says:

    Very timely for me. Thank you. X

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hi Maria. Glad it arrived on time! It’s a pleasure. Rose

  • Rachel Baugh says:

    I have a daughter with Severe Autism, she is nine years old. She is nonverbal, can I use recue remedy on the skin. She does not like me spaying it in her mouth.🙄

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Rachel. Thank you for writing.
      I’m not surprisedyour daughter doesn’t like Rescue Remedy being spray into her mouth. I’m not a fan of sprays at the best of times. And the remedies are preserved in brandy and that’s a really strong taste for children particularlly, to deal with.
      I prefer to take the remedies in water.
      So I suggest you put 4 drops of Rescue into a Small glass of water. And then take about a dessert spoon of that water and put it in her drinks and maybe in her wet food too. Don’t worry about the diultion. The remedies are vibrational remedies, and once you put the Remedy into the water, the water “becomes” the remedy.
      She should have at least 4 doses a day.- but she can have it every hour, if you think she needs it take often. You can’t overdose and there are no side effects.
      Just in case you haven’t seen it – I wrote a blog that could be very helpful to you.
      Here’s the link.
      https://rosetodd.com/bach-flower-remedies/children-autistic-spectrum/
      I hope you find this helpful.
      Once again, thank you for getting in touch.
      Warm wishes Rose.

  • Karen says:

    Hi Rose

    Thank you so much for a great post. I am going through anxiety at the moment due to reasons I won’t go into here, but I have been taking my rescue remedy for it. It has come to my rescue countless times over the past 25 years. I am also taking, what I call the Bach happy essences, including Gentian, and also Larch for confidence. I wouldn’t be without them. They are fantastic.

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Karen. Thank you for writing, but I’m sorry that you’re going through a lot of anxiety at the moment.
      Somtimes without us realising it, our anxiety levels rise to almost panic, and that’s why Rescue Remedy works so well for us. It really is brilliant and so just that “rescues” us.
      Are you taking Mimulus too> Its for “known fears”. If you know what’s worrying you, then Mimulus will help.
      Gentian is for when you’ve suffered a set back (something doesn’t go as you expect) and you’re disappointed and discouraged. A really great remedy that isn’t used enough.
      And Larch is absolutely brilliant (ass all the remedies are when you need them(. 3 Days taking Larch and you can feel the difference!
      I’m glad to hear the Remedies are helping you. They’ve “stood by me” through thick and thin over the past 30 odd years. I too, never leave home without them!
      I hope your problems are resolved soon Karen. Rose.

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